Smoke fills the room my mind, body lethargic (lethargic) Cowboy killers camel filters fill my lungs ‘til the tar thick (tar thick) Empty 40 bottles overflow the garbage The hard days fill with heartache ‘til my heart quit The only color on the canvas is the crimson from my carcass Wanna walk off the plank of this hardship, and sink down, down, down Wanna walk off the plank of this hardship, and sink down, down, down

V1 I've been a dick Been addicted to the weed smoke Feel like benidict betraying my people I Spend green to burn green leaves But really i need to spend green to burn CDs See me I'm struggling, juggling My emcee dreams, Should be bumping and hustling My mp3s Cause w/o em I got nothing but some empty schemes My mind a Maschine, heart beating like an Mpc And that's me, that's real, that's all I'm really here for But stay distracted by weed rolled and beer poured I got the drive but too high to steer more "You said you'd drop a joint", guess I was blowing smoke Can't complete a song, too busy blowing o's Motivations gone, ganja got me going broke Comatose, off the kush but look I'm still holding hope ...I'm in my spaceship, you mutha fuckas rowing boats i finally found my calling now I'm following it note for note Get in my way, get in my face, im holding, choking throats Im going off the deep end to get you heathens to notice flows Cause me and Rocco j, will rock the place, Like holy fucking smokes V2 Remember tripping hard? Off chronic sent from Mars Sippin Disaronno, blunts & big cigars On the back porch crackin' jokes and spittin bars But as you picture this, remember this is art You think this isn't hard? Then grab a pen & paper Write a line, try and find what you have been afraid of Too many imitators been up and gettin' famous Taking over the rap industry's entertainment And in this day and age yo I can sense a disengagement A misinterpretation of trials and tribulations It's like that feeling you get when you miss a payment Like hip and hop are going at it I just instigate it I always thought it would get better when I'm older That's why I vent through every letter in my notebook Life's a drag that's why I'm never really sober Even smoked out the angel and the devil on my shoulder I need smoke

V1 Roll outta bed start to walk like a zombie, Look in the mirror see a man that is not me, oh no no no Then precede to breathe with a wheeze that leads to dry heaves Man I can't stop coughing My stomach bleeds maybe I should feed it something it needs besides all these cigarettes and coffee I've been on a bud and a booze binge It goes dub after dub after dub then a new 5th Wake up in the morning, and I'm mourning "why you do this?" Screaming at my self you need help ‘fore you lose it Lost my girl, lost my job, and I lost my mind Lost my world in a whirlwind out the blue like I'm blind I find it funny how they feel I'm fine Edge of the cliff about to slip as they walk by, I'm... So filled with rage anger and hate, I… Advocate you stay outta my way, I… Don't give a fuck about yours when I hate mine Always press ignore when my family try to FaceTime Too busy slamming doors to even say hi Smoke my lows away I blaze everyday and I stay high I can't live another day inside of all these same lies I can't play another game and end up with some snake eyes Hook I'm seeing red, I'm seeing red my eyes are bloody (x3) Kill you with a gavel if you mutha fuckas try n judge me V2 I'm so lost I asked God jus to drop a pin Show me what to do, where to go, how to live Me myself and I asking why don’t you help us? I'm so fuckin’ lost see my mug on the milk jug I'm so sick & tired of being so sick & tired It's always smoke n mirrors every time I get inspired And finding motivations like finding a four leaf clover I'm tryna find myself but you'll never find me sober It goes Mary Molly Lucy I've been on a fucking binge, I… Even slipped up & let that white girl up in the mix And I can't front or lie I like the way they kiss I guess it’s just part of me losing my innocence In a sense such a sick kid My sentences vicious, my presence is wicked The only question is… whether the weed or me is more twisted Everything u think u see, really isn't Cause I look like a skinny teen from your vision But feel like Vinnie P, JMT when I be spittin’ And I'm seeing red, no Visine Smoking weed ‘til my mutha fuckin’ eyes bleed

The man in the mirror looks like a stranger now Sorry god but I gotta let my anger out Middle finger to the sky no fucks to give Sorry god but I've really had enough of this Yeah I really had enough of this Yeah I really had enough... V1 I'm taking & breaking your rhymes, makin' em into gelatin bro I'm taking & breaking your spine, playin' drums with your skeleton bones I'm killing the beat, makin' em fly the flag at half mass I'm crazy indeed like theres angel dust in my flapjacks I lost my sanity, I'm just too busy to find it Who's this cooper kid you speak of, cause i can't find him bro I'm outta my mind, or whatever you wanna call it Brushing the chips off my shoulders cause I'm all in There's a virus in my letters, i'm calling it anthrax I'm going postal so imposters please stand back Stand back cause I'm coming full force full bore Driving a ford explorer through your fucking front door Leaving a trail of gasoline, watch my thoughts burst Into flames, do it insane, i'm off my rocker I'm off my rocker Gimme a beat and watch me morph into a monster Hook repeats V2 I got hot beats, loops of fire like the circus I'm an untied tiger and I'm leaving you hurting I stole this sample with a mutha' fuckin' mask and gun I'm wearing a black hoodie, black t, my pants are sagging son I'm taking a drag of the cigarette so I'm matching w my blackened lungs My whole world black, it makes sense that, I'm bat shit huh? Leaving you black n blue, I'm blacking out and then I'm slapping nuns But if I don't remember my actions guess it didn't happen huh? Shots after shots, it's like I'm at a war with rum Shots after shots, I hate it when the morning comes God I'm lost, I gotta block out all the morning sun I'm sorry mom & pops, I love you lots but feel my course is run Drink the bottle 'til it's hollow, no today and no tomorrow When I'm behavin' this way I betray all of my role models Fuck your piss test! I'm running with a blunt in hand Dropping acid with Alice all day in wonderland I got a poison pen, my quill is sharp, my verses kill I'm sitting shotgun while Frank the Bunny works the wheel I'm gone Hook repeats

Love & Lust With lust, I always jump in But with love, nah I don't trust it (x2) Yeah with love, I always rush and jump in But then it turns to lust and fuck I'm not really reluctant Yeah I was high my drive was fueled by sipping a cup of something And it's ironic all I wanted was a little substance But ended up with nothing but regret and upset stomach So struck with luck, I stood my crush and now it seems we crushed it See love and lust are fun but I know one is just disgusting I have no control these girls just get my blood so pumping And if I'm being honest I wanna love like my sister has Still the little kid passing notes to the chicks in class Bit stay distracted by flirty bitches n tits n ass I'm just a human I'm assuming you can witness that And sometimes wanna rewind my life a little and relive my past But understand my mind is like a riddle and I'm missing half I'm sick in fact, a mf dick somebody kick my ass Before I go and lose my grip n trip on down this wicked path HOOK I'm not okay babe I'm such a sick guy Why you think I only text you after midnight My life is pain babe I'm tryna hide it Why you think I always show up with my eyes red I'm not okay, I’m not okay x2 Repeat hook

i was raised by green eggs and ham some could say the son of Sam i am i stand tall in ruins i don't fit in with the monsters or the humans biting bullets now my smiles toothless i don’t give a damn what Simon says look at my hands, I'm holding Simon’s head i write the blues and then rhyme in red I’m just killin’ time but now my time is dead I've been waiting just to change in a phone booth don't steal inspiration, go get your own muse blow your mind you'll never find a man like me blow your mind when I say fuck profanity I’m straight to the point, so abstract on rabbits feet crossin’ black cats smashing four leaf clovers while I'm walking still wearing the boots lady luck bought me You're right by my side, yet I'm left so distant the clear cut conclusions are completely cryptic i spit this, and try to stay hungry while fed up feelings fill my empty tummy I’m screaming, in a banshee whisper I'm going with the flow trudging up the river i left the mob, kept the pitchfork carry a big stick and a lit torch making malicious moves, on that manic shit you morons remain mimicking manikins i handle biz, with no ...gimmicky antic-ness stay grounded, still never abandon ship I still never abandon ship still never abandon ship stay grounded, still never abandon ship still never abandon ship stay grounded, I still never abandon ship

V1 The looking glass looking back sees and ugly man I pulled my heart out, I got these bloody hands Been to hell and back, still have the muddy vans ... We went from smelling roses, to pushing daisies You left me frozen, you left me crazy You left me no notice, no note to tell me when you'd break me But now I'm looking to the heavens "why the hell you make me?" No vitamin d, I never see the sunlight I'm drinking ‘til the birds chirp, but sleeping when the sun rise There's demons in my first verse There's demons in my last line There's darkness in my heart, I'm not playing parts, im the bad guy The sun is shining but I don't feel like smiling yet Looking at your number trying not to dial it Thinking bout your heart, I still see it violet But mine is black n blue, I beat myself up I'm so violent N I am not striving or surviving in my environment Cause every time I try I am reminded of the time we spent I can't find my pride what's a lion minus lioness But I am just a child that is lying in a giant mess...yes Boys who aren't allowed to cry shoot bullets Gimme another few years I woulda pulled it On myself And let my brain splatter It's only once you're gone that they realize the pain matters HOOK Teardrops are taboo Unless they're on your face in the form of a Tattoo (We've been living a lie, living a lie) Teardrops are taboo Unless they're on your face in the form of a Tattoo (Rip off the mask you been living inside, living inside) V2 Walking round this masquerade Losing face as I rip off this mask they made It's quite tragic been type casted but I'm active tryna detach n cast off this acting phase Communicating with humans is such a bad charade Going thru the motions and the movements I feel my laughter fade No one knowing truth from illusion dude I'm about to rage All these people clueless fool this palace is a palisade Ayeee what's masculinity? For me it made me mask a massive part of my identity The top tier don't drop tears, don't set that as your centerpiece Don't let em see ya cry is the message that was sent to me That sentiment so senseless it ain't worth a FUCKING CENT TO ME It makes my skin crawl like a MUTHA FUCKING CENTIPEDE Taught to toss my tender tendency aside Tearing tendons, too much tension, I've been keeping it inside I've been heading for a dead end thank the heavens I'm alive I've been breaking I'm not bending, I need a friend to tend to me, n tell me it's gon be alright, someone tell me it's alright, I can't look you in the eyes Cause I've been socialized to the point all emotion dies Controlled by an entity invisible to open eyes, a ghost or a poltergeist This hoax made me so inclined to go get high Depression is a prison, addiction was the mortar that kept it fortified This cultures lies The rules aren't always spoken they're more implied Leaving me more or less mortified Boys who never shed tears, shed blood, I believe that to the core inside HOOK Teardrops are taboo Unless they're on your face in the form of a Tattoo (We've been living a lie, living a lie) Teardrops are taboo Unless they're on your face in the form of a Tattoo (Rip off the mask you been living inside, living inside)

V1 We talked into the morning and fell asleep on the phone together woke up alone I'm hearing that dial tone forever I have the worst urge turn back the hands of time But once it's flipped that hourglass can't rewind I still revisit the day I gave her an ultimatum, saying you gotta pick, “It's me or him” she took the ladder and left me up on that ledge again Strung me along, strung me up by my heart strings Cardiac arrested she did the crime then charged me Cause now my friends are your friends and your friends are mine Such a fucking mess we're all intertwined And I can not pretend, ans tell you I'm fine cause I'm... Standing in the mirror Glasses blurry from my tears I'm hurting, the only words I need to hear Hook I know your pain, I know your sorrow They say the rain, will end tomorrow But it feels like tomorrow never comes They say it gets better but I’m scared it never does V2 Retracing footprints like what I coulda what I shoulda done Ruminating my brain is saying I'm not good enough It felt like love it doesn't matter what you call it x3 Now the dark clouds follow me the rain is always fallin You said youd leave him for me that tale was on the tall end Wanna take our whole history crumble, ball it and toss it Cut ties n cut losses, Cut you out my memory, cause remembering is so toxic Yet you beg to stay friends with me I feel like your hostage, and I'm haunted By this image in my head of you smiling hair blowing in the wind sun shining on ya skin Sitting on my handle bars as were riding Juxtaposed against the picture of me Standing in the mirror Glasses blurry from my tears I'm hurting, the only words I need to hear Hook I know your pain I know your sorrow They say the rain will end tomorrow But it feels like tomorrow never comes They say it gets better but I’m scared it never does x2 See me standing in the mirror Glasses blurry from my tears I'm hurting, only words I need to hear... Hook repeats

V1 Lemme tell ya what it's been like Mutha fucka it ain't been nice Life and death is a thin Life & death... I've had my heart shattered into pieces repeatedly Picking up the parts scattered ain't a feat completed easily filled with dark matter now my eyes bleeding frequently Somewhere along the way that THC became a need for me, a fiend for weed, Control alt deleted my idea of a deity Depression so deep seeded I'm seeking a scene of greenery, These demons be Scheming & competing for a piece of me, Dancing with the devil & romancing with reaper he's… such a sinister snake...slithering off in secrecy Convinced us his existence is fake, The greatest trickery played, in history's days, Satan’s so great at deceiving me These odds don't add up evenly BRIDGE This ain't nothin nice, nothing nice I've been struggling, On the road to life, road to life I've been stumblin Slurring all my words,all my words I've been mumblin I got so much pain, so much pain I can't stomach it HOOK I don't wanna feel, I don't wanna feel, wanna feel nothing, nothing, nothing I don't wanna feel, I don't wanna feel, wanna feel nothing, nothing, nothing Nothing, nothing nothing x 3 I don't wanna feel, I don't wanna feel, wanna feel nothing V2 Take off the edge until my blade is dull as ...butter knifes So concerned with others thoughts I need to Numb these ...butterflies Even when they flood me with compliments I brush’ em off as just utter lies Sitting back & watching all my dreams as they flutter by Telling myself ill follow them another time Constantly comparing myself to all these other guys Looking up to rappers kept my fucked up patterns so justified Can't manage to look the man in the mirror in the fucking eyes Struggling, seeing double & mumblin’, stumblin’, I'm in trouble & Can't walk a straight fucking line ...The sound of drunken ruckus has become my lullabies The answers no! So don't ask me if I'm fucking fine BRIDGE This ain't nothin nice, nothing nice I've been struggling, On the road to life, road to life I've been stumblin Slurring all my words,all my words I've been mumblin I got so much pain, so much pain I can't stomach it HOOK I don't wanna feel, I don't wanna feel, wanna feel nothing, nothing, nothing I don't wanna feel, I don't wanna feel, wanna feel nothing, nothing, nothing V3 Lemme tell you what it been like Mutha fucka it ain't been nice Life and death is a thin line Life & death Black n red black n red, all I see is black n red Same old story in the morning always crawling back to bed I don't wanna see the sun Delete despicable texts I sent I check my checking account and count astoundingly depleted funds, I need to run cause I got shame to the gills, I got rage hate and guilt Poor me, I got pain gimme pills It's pouring, watch the rain as it spills Don't kill my spirit just, pour me, a spirit to kill Drain the addy nell, add the Adderall, then smoke a bowl I'm in and out hell I need to slow my roll Take your Ritalin out your hand if you're giving it out I'm out of hand with no control Someone hold the wheel and cause here I go I lit the spliff I hit escape I hit the bottle, hit the bottom, I hit the pavement with my face I hit the hospital, I told the doctor yo I feel no pain, I wonder if he feel the same I'm Jekyll and Hyde-ing from my dark side it got me feeling strange Waking up like how the fuck I get home last night Everything is fuzzy, so many unknown s last night I swear that wasn't me it musta bean an alter ego last night Told myself I'd take it slow last night I got my keys I can't believe I fucking drove last night Did I leave broken glass on the road last night? I wonder if there's...blood on my bumper did I.. hit n run after hitting a runner and.. kill an innocent soul last night? Oh no my god Hook repeats